Are You Ready For Fatherhood

While thinking about having a baby, all fathers-to-be would have gone through lots of anxiety over whether they are prepared or not, whether it’s the right time to start a family or not and many such questions. One part of theirs may get excited with the prospect of being a dad and while their other part is surrounded by so many fears and insecurities.

Now is the time, when fathers know that pregnancy is not at all a woman’s job only. Her partner has to be an active participant throughout and after. He will not only be a provider or protector but would shape his kid, play with him, teach him and be friend with him.

Parenting is a life changing event and for this one must be prepared well to face and meet the challenges. Though, having an inner urge to step into fatherhood is essential but at the same time, you have to gear up before the baby comes to ensure healthy, happy and joyful life after.

Answer Some questions to get ready for Fatherhood

Have you ever given a thought to be in fatherhood?

Being a father is a conscious decision. So, make sure that you have given considerable time to your thoughts and deeply felt the need to have a child. You have associated some hopes, desires and wants with your child. Planning and thinking about parenting approach and styles is critical in determining your fatherhood decision.

Are you fully committed to your partner?

Having a child means you owe that child, you will be responsible for his needs and demands lifelong. You will be teaching, nurturing and looking after him. So, if you and your partner share a strong bond and know that you both want to create a child, go ahead. Your child will be most affected by the relationship you share.

Do you love children?

Do you appreciate and enjoy when your friends or relatives visit your home with their family and children? Are you not affected with the crying or shouting of children? Do you admire their company? If you are positive about these questions, you are quite on the track.

Loving others’ children is the first sign that you want your own. And when there is “want”, everything follows.

Can you prioritize your child and family over you?

Though, you will not totally efface yourself, but definitely you will be compromising on various things for your child or partner. You may be putting your things on hold to get their demand fulfilled. You may be dropping outing plan with friends, spending your Sunday in household chores or will be taking your baby for a walk every evening.

Being agreeable to put your needs secondary is prerequisite to be a dad.

Are you judgmental and act mature when it comes to life’s major issues?

Are you mature enough to take the responsibility of your decisions or you just pass on the blame? Do you save money or spend extravagantly? Are you prospective about your future life? Having so, you are mature enough to take life’s big decisions like parenting.

Being mature and focused help you take proper care of your children who are completely dependent upon you.

How to prepare yourself for fatherhood?

Fatherhood is a lifelong responsibility full of perils, fears, insecurities and uncertainties. However, if one is ready, the problems can be alleviated. Here is what you should know:

Get the right food: you must have read the importance of a healthy and nutritious diet for woman. However, it is equally important for the other partner too. Nutrition causes direct impact on your sperm potency. So, try to follow a balanced, varied and nutritious diet. Give up the junk food for a while and adopt healthy practices.

• Increase vitamin C and other antioxidants in your food to boost the sperm motility and to prevent its defects.
• Add plenty of zinc sources in your diet. Zinc is said to enhance the fertility, preventing sperm clumping, increasing serum and testosterone volume. Oysters, baked beans, dark chicken meat are some common and healthy sources of Zinc.
• Increased intake of vitamin D (Milk and salmon), and calcium through low fat milk or yoghurt helps in boosting male fertility.
• It would be nice if you fuel your body with enough folic acid. Fortified breakfast cereals, leafy greens, legumes, and orange juice are packed with this vitamin and help producing healthy sperms.
• Though, no vitamin and iron pills can substitute your diet but if you fail to be regular with such diet, you can opt for such pills.
• Drop all unhealthy practices like smoking and drinking. The quality and quality of sperms is deeply affected by these practices. Moreover, once you have a baby, indulging into such habits would cause a direct impact on your baby.
• Say a big no to drugs like cocaine or marijuana as they disrupt the brain chemistry affecting the level of reproductive hormones released.

Modify your lifestyle: a family of three would never be like your previous family of two. Each and every activity of your day would be either affected by or will affect your baby. So, bringing some lifestyle changes can ensure a better, safe and healthy environment to your baby.

• No one can excuse himself with modern day malady-stress, but at the same time, it leaves negative impact on sperm count and hormone levels. So, try to relax. Rejuvenate with yoga, Reiki or meditation practices. Keep yourself cool and stress free. A good quality sperm means early and healthy chances of conceiving.
• Getting exposed to harmful radiations, chemicals or toxic solvents and fumes may damage the quality and quantity of sperms. Further, it may also lead to any genetic defects in your child. You may ask for temporary reassignment or some break if possible.
• Getting involved in rough sports like football, hockey, basketball or using sauna bath, hot tubs and wearing snug jeans, synthetic shorts or tight fitted undergarments can cause physical injury to your genitals by overheating. This may then hamper your ability to produce and ejaculate sperms.
• Over-the-counter medications are not advisable to take without physician’s advice as you never know which medication can raise fertility issues in future.
• A pre-conception visit is good for medical screening and genetic screenings. This way, you can discuss about medical issues like sexually transmitted diseases, any family history of defects or to know about any genetic disorders.

Read parenting books: reading pregnancy and parenting books would take your role of fatherhood towards perfection. There, you may know about fathering tips, some facts, some suggestions, dos and don’ts, advices and much more information.

Learn about pregnancy and childbirth: you must be well informed with the precautions, suggestions and symptoms of emergencies in pregnancy. This will help you act in emergency situations. In late pregnancy, there are false contractions which seem like labor pain but they taper off in a while.

To avoid any panicking in such conditions, you must know that you have to act when-

• Waters break and there is heavy gush of liquid.
• Your partner feels longer and strong contractions in regular intervals.
• There is persistent lower back pain.
• Pre-menstrual bleeding.

You must also know how to prepare and what all to pack to get ready for delivery.

Financial stability: before baby, there are two income sources for two people while after baby, there is one income source for a family of three. Therefore, you are sure to go through some financial strain. Before baby planning, just make sure that even if your wife would be on maternity leave or will leave her job, your family could sustain with your salary. I am not talking about living on shoestring. Make sure that you at least provide them a medium level living standard. In case of doubt, better hold your plan for next few months.

Baby care training: once your baby is there, your partner may undergo several emotional and physical transformations. Like you, she is also a new parent so don’t take for granted the responsibility of child to be hers only. Get some baby care tips and training by joining some classes or through one of your friend’s help. Also, know about the best baby care products and other baby requirements.

Strengthen your relationship: your partner must be going through fears, worries and anxieties regarding her new life, her ability to handle twin responsibility of home and baby, her relationship with you, and about the development of your baby. In such situation, it would be a nice gesture to stand by her side in every way and let her believe that you will be there with her in any condition. This will strengthen your relationship and would also help your partner get emotionally strong.

How to Dump the fears

Do not be insecure regarding your responsibilities

A father is sure responsible for providing emotional as well as financial support throughout and after pregnancy. Prevailing insecurities are inevitable but just be strong. The feeling of being a father would pump you with inner strength and a responsible feeling. As far as finances are concerned, just be a little cautious and plan wisely.

Do accept the fact that no one is ever ready to be the best parents

You may wait for long to decide whether you are ready or not. But let me tell you seriously there is no perfect time ever to be a dad. Either it’s your planned or unplanned baby, just be in the joy of being a parent. Just think about your maturity, focus on life and attitude, and be ready and open for all types of challenges and possibilities. Let your fleeting negative thoughts pass on with the excitement, happiness and anxiety within you. This is just you want to be a great father.

You can never perform perfect

Imagining your partner in labor pain and lying in pool of blood during delivery may cause an adrenaline rush in your body. But, it’s quite normal. No one can be so hard hearted to be strong enough while seeing his loved ones like this. Express your emotions, walk through them, talk to other fathers there. You will certainly handle the things well without any discomfort. It is just a thought that haunts you before time.

Trust HIM and leave everything

With this nerve racking experience of childbirth, you may develop fears of losing your loved ones, your partner or your baby. Medical science has made significant improvements in the delivery process which has considerable reduced complications. If any complication exists, just pray God and hope for the best.